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Lament of the Cell Phone


This is officially my new favorite thing ever. It’s an old flash animation, but I actually hadn’t seen this one before it was posted a couple of days ago at It’s from the point of view of a dude really lonely because NO ONE EVER CALLS HIM. T_T

Here’s a super rough translation in case you’re wondering:

*ring ring*
I have had my cell phone for 2 years,
But recently it has stopped ringing,
Therefore my mobile makes me sad,
But I still use it as a clock.

After I’ve had to be underground
I listen for messages as soon as I’m above ground,
But the voice that floats to my ears,
“You have no new messages”

Inside the train, “ring ring ring”
A cell phone is ringing,
I think it might be mine, and when I pick it up,
It wasn’t mine!

The guy talking next to me is despicable
The girl laughing in front of him is also despicable
Even though I put my cell phone number on my business card
If only they’d go out of range

Should I cancel my call-waiting?
Even though the antenna is blinking
I have three spare batteries
And I recorded such a cheerful voicemail message

The girls I met when I went out
Gave me their numbers
But when I rush home and call them
“The number you’ve dialed is no longer in service”

In a crowded place, “ring ring ring”
My phone started ringing
I’ve achieved happiness, so I answer,
No one is there!

The electromagnetic protection I bought Is meaningless
The earphone mike I can no longer use
I wish I’d never bought a cell phone
Even though I have 3 bars of service


Anywhere downtown, “ring ring ring”
A cell phone that’s not mine is ringing
Since I’m resentful I just try answering mine too
They hung up on me!

I was just the right kind of person to have a beeper
And I got PHS for free
I wish I’d never bought a cell phone
Even though I have 3 bars of service

The guy talking next to me is despicable
Edison, who invented the telephone, is despicable
I wish I didn’t even have a cell phone
Maybe I’ll go home to the countryside where I get no service…