There’s a first time for everything in Osaka

by mo on 01/13/2010

With all the girly hangouts in Sannomiya, enough was enough with Kobe. By January 7th, I was ready for some hardcore Osaka-ing. I told my friend Takashi to leave the whole day open, since I know he is also of the opinion that Osaka is rockin’. He’s actually studying abroad in America this year, but my plans to meet him in the states fell through and it ended up being easier to align my trip to Japan with his.

Of course, now that I had moved to the Uetani household, Osaka was a good two hours away. So we made plans to meet at noon, which meant I left the house at 10. Really only an hour and a half is really necessary, but it depends on how the trains line up etc. and since Takashi lost his cell phone, if he didn’t show I would have no way of contacting him. This meant that me being late would be kinda problematic.

I also wanted to arrive early because while in Japan, I reverted back to super-on-time-all-the-time Japan mode. Those of you who know me in America probably know I regularly show up minutes or hours late to things I intend on going to (meetings, classes, movies, parties, etc.) But here, being even two minutes late is still considered a HUGE DEAL and I’d actually rather just be early than deal with the two-minutes-late consequences. Heads roll.

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So I stood there at our designated meeting spot in the train station, listening to This American Life for a while (I have had so much bonding time with Ira Glass on this trip) until Takashi showed up and we went and grabbed some Ramen at a nearby restaurant. Then we hopped on a train since I said I wanted to go shopping in Shinsaibashi (since I had been there once before and had great shopping success). I found a skirt. and some warm (and fuzzy) items at uni-qlo.

We walked aimlessly for a bit, and found Namba, where we consumed some delicious takoyaki and took a picture with that famous clown dude…

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Then Takashi wanted to go to Nihon-bashi to look at cameras (Nihon-bashi is the Akihabara of Osaka) so we walked over.

I had forgotten how close everything is in Osaka.

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Yes, iPhones really do cost 0 yen in Japan.

After camera inspection was done in Nihon-bashi, we were mid-conversation about maid cafes (which are rather plentiful in Nihon-bashi, as in Akiba). I said I’d never actually been inside one. Takashi was far too surprised at this fact (who the hell was I going to go with?? If I’d been to one before, he would have been there!!) So we toyed with the idea of going to one until I somewhat insisted that we did, and that I’d buy him his coffee or whatever (maid cafes are expensive).

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With a random maid cafe worker

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Maids & yellow submarine

We picked a maid cafe that was somewhat visible from the street, which may have been part of our problem — this maid cafe was NOT hardcore at all. Yeah, the waitresses were dressed up in maid outfits and there were little bells on the table and lace everywhere, but they didn’t do anything special (Takashi spoke of song & dance routines, and much more lavish vocabulary when the waitresses take your order in a Tokyo one he went to with his friends). In fact, most of the clientele were rather normal at all. The lonely おっさん (creepy old men) demographic was a little high I guess, but there were also high schoolers, and other relatively normal people. I was a bit underwhelmed.

I was surprised to see how clean the whole cafe was. Duh, maid cafes are totally clean, said Takashi.

He had cheesecake, I had ice coffee (at which point I surprised HIM by pointing out that we don’t really have iced coffee in America, which he had not noticed). We paid the ridiculous prices for our food, and then left.

This was the first of many adventures that day in Osaka that were firsts, despite the fact that a lot of time was spent in places where I have been one or more times before. I shall label them with 初, the Japanese word for “first.” And that was:

初 Maid Cafe!

At this point we realized that we hadn’t yet been to Ame-mura today! So we walked over there and first stopped by the Apple store at the corner leading into Ame-mura.

I’d never been in that Apple store, but as many Apple stores are, it was a happy magical wonderland. I found an iPod and cranked up the MGMT as I watched the slightly-hipster Japanese Apple dudes talk to customers. I had a long-ish conversation with one of the dudes at the genius bar (or whatever it’s called) about macbook airline chargers. I did not buy one, as it cost even more there than in America (jeez). On the one hand, I don’t think it’s really worth the $50 unless I make this America/Japan commute a regular thing, especially since I am not convinced charging is possible on enough different airlines. On the other hand, I spent more than that amount on socks alone on this trip to Japan. (But socks are important.)

After leaving the Apple store we finally arrived at the other, more magical playground: Ame-Mura. We shopped for some hip dude-clothing (which covers about 80% of stores in Ame-mura) and then Takashi insisted we stop for an ice hot dog. Three years ago, I was somewhat disgusted by this idea and stood there skeptically while he consumed this seemingly-bogus snack. This time though, I decided to give it a shot, and we entered the tiny, cramped shop that was roughly the size of a college apartment living room, and just as dirty. The walls were lined with hundreds of photos of celebrities who stopped here to eat ice-dogs — I guess this is the only place in Japan that does this, so it’s quite a delicacy when you’re in Osaka (???) Despite the grungy American-city-replica vibe of Ame-mura, our ice dogs were served on adorable little trays you would expect to receive green tea and some mochi-like snack on and a little toothpick/mini-knife which with to eat it.

But instead, it was my…

初 Ice Dog!

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And it was AMAZING.

The ice cream is just your classic vanilla soft-serve. But the secret is the bun. It’s fluffy and extremely sweet, not too soft or chewy but not at all crunchy, and warm. The contrast with the cold/sweet ice cream is perfect and whoever thought this up is a GENIUS.

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I wanted to go to a particular store I’d been to 3 years ago where I bought a ton of socks (and everything costs 300 yen or less). However, we went to the same spot and it appeared to be closing down, or a different store that was also closing down. All old crappy things, and no socks.

At this point we had to decide whether to stay in Osaka or to go to this awesome spot Takashi knew of that had good views, etc. of the Kansai area. However, that required a car, and to go drive and come back to Sannomiya before 10:30 when the last bus I could take home was. It was gonna be tight, so we just stayed in Umeda instead.

Let’s go to HEP! We said (although I’d been there just days before… HEP is still fun). We walked over to HEP. And we saw… it was CLOSED!!

初 HEP being closed!

How the hell can HEP be closed??? I guess since they had sales going on all through new years (the normal days off) that they were taking a day off now. But it was so sad.

Earlier we had passed by a pachinko place and it was revealed that I had never done pachinko. Again, like with maid cafes, Takashi was in shock and awe. Find then, let’s go.

初 Pachinko!

We found a pachinko place (really not a difficult task if you’re in…Japan). I spent 1000 yen to see little metal balls fall down and that’s about it. Wow, I really don’t get what the fun part of pachinko is. Plus, the whole incredibly noisy atmosphere of pachiko places makes it completely impossible to whine at my friend that I don’t get why this would be fun. Whatever, pachinko.

I was ready for something that I knew would be fun: purikura. Yes I had taken it like 6 other times so far on this trip, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need to do purikura. We wandered for a while, looking for a purikura place, but found none. NO PURIKURA!? Could this be possible?! Normally when hanging out with people you can’t AVOID the purikura places left and right. This was:

初 difficulty finding purikura!

It was incredibly disappointing. We went to Yodobashi camera so Takashi could look at yet more cameras. I whipped out my rental cell phone and did some internet research on purikura places in Umeda. I found a place that someone claimed to have taken purikura as recently as 12/19/09, so I figured this place still existed. Takashi knew vaguely where that would be, so we headed over and saw several arcades that had signs out saying specifically there WAS NO PURIKURA.

Could this be the END OF PURIKURA?!

Finally we found a place, but it barely had 3 machines, and no scissors. Ummm… fail? I’m not claiming to be an expert on purikura economics, but as far as I can tell the only cost involved would be the purchasing cost of the machine, and then power to leave the damn thing on, while you collect 400 yen a pop from groups of girls all day and all night long. What gives, Osaka?

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With 2 hours or so to kill before I needed to go home, Takashi was yet again disappointed in my lack of experience in potential places-to-spend-money in Japan; not only had I never gone to Maid Cafes or Pachinko before today, but I’d never been to an izakaya (a Japanese bar). OH MY GOD!! This doesn’t seem that surprising… as I don’t think most nanjo girls were going bar-hopping in high school (since we weren’t even allowed to take purikura in our uniforms or go to KARAOKE, period). Actually, scratch that — I’m sure some girls were, but I was not friends with those kids. The orchestra kids are not really the rowdy type.

初 Izakaya!

The izakaya we stopped in was near the purikura place. We ordered a few random foods including the ever-chewy cheese-mochi, and some squid thing. The best thing about this place was the drink menu:

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When I pointed this out, Takashi insisted that we needed to tell the izakaya that it’s wrong. In fact, that’s the usual response to Engrish, that *someone needs to tell them*. But I’m not sure it’s worth it even for them to change their menus, since I am really the only demographic who would notice. Takashi’s english is on the better end of people in Osaka, and I doubt the 4 other foreigners who may potentially ever visit that bar will care either.

Also, Engrish is funny.

Had my 初 yogurt-drink (which was quite good), then said goodbye to Takashi and headed west, where I bought my 初 coffee-pan (like an-pan but coffee-related sweet things are inside… delicious) and hopped on the fastest train back to Kobe I could find. Arrived home like 2 hours later.

Some final impressions on Osaka: it’s changing. The lack of purikura was kind of astounding, and even some of the shoutengai (shopping streets) were kinda lonely. On the other hand, there’s tons of construction going on around Umeda station, with several new (large) buildings and hotels. Osaka is just kinda different from how I remember in a way Kobe is not.

But at least the ice dog business seems to be relatively stable! It’s a snack I plan to count on for years to come.