mokudekiru

Get ready for one of the most awkward moments you’ve ever seen in your life:

Slow Dance is a 2005 drama, classic romance, with a great cast, amazing dialogue, and a few major flaws.

Flaw #1: The first episode.

It’s just boring. I smile at all the wildly famous, awesome actors that appear, but no one seems interesting enough to care about, and the soundtrack is kinda eh.

Flaw #2: Fukatsu Eri is the star.

She plays a 31 year old woman named Isaki, who just passed up a mediocre marriage proposal, and is realizing her loneliness and a lifetime of failures with the dudes. Her biological clock is ticking (not for babies though, she hates children). She falls for Riichi (Tsumabuki Satoshi), a younger guy (25) who is pining away for a stewardess, Ayumi, whom he broke up with 3 years ago.

But instead of pulling off a Long Vacation style romantically-agressive older woman with a younger guy type relationship effectively, Fukatsu Eri just continues to be as needy, childish, and obnoxious as she is in the very first episode when she meets Riichi pseudo-cutting in the cafe line, and tells him repeatedly to「順番を守ってくださる？」(which effectively means “get your ass in line” politely enough that it’s rude). She’s definitely no Minami-chan from Long Vacation.

Instead, she’s outshone by almost every other actor or actress in the show. I suppose this does elicit some pity, at least. Hirosue Ryoko plays her BFF, Mino-chan, who is typically the life of the party and the all-the-guys-like her kinda girl, despite the fact that she’s actually been pining away for a high school BF who went long distance to med school and promised to meet her and ask for her hand in marriage after a 6 year break (as if). Which brings us to:

Flaw #3: Too many characters pining away for too long.

Mino-chan and her 6-year med school “prince,” and Ayumi and Riichi who have BOTH been pining for each other for THREE YEARS since they’re both too scared to just, you know, ask each other what they think. I know this is love we’re talking about, but three years is a long time.

However, this brings us to the things that Slow Dance does completely right:
Strength #1: Jealousy.

First of all, in this rather incestuous love-hexagon, there is a LOT of jealousy. Riichi is perpetually jealous of his older brother, Eisuke (Fujiki Naohito) in both a sibling rivalry kind of way and a love-rival kind of way. He assumes all girls like his “more handsome”, more successful brother (if Tsumabuki Satoshi is worried he’s not cute enough… something is really off with his perception of reality).

Secondly, all the girl-on-girl jealousy is really well done. It’s perfect that Isaki, the sort of annoying lead, kinda gets in the way anywhere it’s convenient — when Ayumi is thinking of telling Riichi her feelings, oh, look, it’s Isaki. WHY IS SHE HERE? Or, when Mino-chan likes Eisuke, and she sees that Isaki is already chilling at his bar (it’s not a real drama unless one of the main characters owns a bar), and WAIT A MINUTE WHY IS SHE HERE?? Jealousy. Eisuke clearly doesn’t care about his former girlfriend, Yukie (played by Ebi-chan. He’s insane, who would GIVE UP Ebi-chan??)

I tried to pin down the jealousy relationships into a diagram. Arrows go from the jealous person to who they are jealous of, and somehow touch or go around who-the-jealous-person-is-jealous-over.

However, while the jealousy is going on in a major way, most of it is relatively realistic. Unlike in ridiculous shows like Strawberry on the Shortcake where jealousy is equally pervasive, the jealousy in Slow Dance does not leave the audience convinced that any particular character is COMPLETELY BATSHIT INSANE (unlike in SOS). Kudos.

Strength #2: Fujiki Naohito. This is the 6th drama I’ve watched with Fujiki Naohito, and although he has been gradually growing on me (starting with pure dislike), this is the show that tipped me over from ambivalence towards him into genuine fandom. Maybe just a timing issue, but Eisuke’s character was great, and the first time I’ve seen him be MORE than the stuck up asshole he always is (yes, every other role, he’s been the anal-retentive one about cleaning or the environment or he’s the douchebag the girl shouldn’t actually get with… etc). Here he was still a bit of an asshole, just because he was so popular (and if I were dating Ebi-chan I would let it go to my head too), but he was a good guy, offered interesting insight to all relationships and his own aspirations. Also, a good brother.

Strength #3: Great dialogue. Like in any romance, the characters are continually obsessed with their own love lives and analyze them to their friends and themselves constantly. But something about all the lines in this show just seemed much better, it was all carefully crafted and there were great lines in almost every conversation. A lot of it was Japanese dependent language that struck a chord. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I’m fluent enough at Japanese to say with certainty whether the writing was ACTUALLY very good (then again, that sort of thing is rather subjective anyway).

Here are a couple of favorite conversations:

「探るキス」(saguru kisu, or “investigative kiss”).
The idea is that when you kiss someone it might be either a) find out your own feelings for the person, or b) test the other person’s feelings for you. In either case, once the investigative kiss is over, assuming the kiss has passed inspection, there should be an immediate follow-up kiss. Right?

告白する vs. 告白される (kokuhaku suru vs. kokuhaku sareru)
If you aren’t familiar with the concept of kokuhaku, it is basically a love confession. In America I guess the closest thing is “telling the person you’re into them” but somehow it feels a bit more formal in Japan. Like it’s necessary to proceed. Anyway, during this part of the show, Mino-chan was feeling weird about pursuing Eisuke, since she had only ever kokuhaku sareta before (i.e. she had only had guys tell her they like her, but never the other way around) and Isaki responds that wow, she’s only kokuhaku shita (told guys she was into them, but never had a guy tell her he likes her). But now the time had come for Mino-chan to kokuhaku suru and she was completely out of her element, searching for the right words.

驚き・桃の木・山椒の木 (odoroki momonoki sanshou no ki)
Apparently this is a punny way of saying “SUPER FREAKING SURPRISED” in Japanese. odoroki=surprised, but it sounds like / rhymes with momonoki and sanshou no ki which would be “peach tree” and “pepper tree” respectively. Isaki says it to Riichi in an appropriate place in conversation. However, apparently this phrase was created by a Japanese comedian a long time ago, so saying it really shows Isaki-san’s age. Riichi warns her “don’t say that in front of young people… they won’t know what you’re talking about.” It’s kind of like the day my linguistics professor was discussing word structure and gave “Un-cola” as an anomaly/example from pop culture (har har) and then realized no one in the room had any idea what he was talking about. See all the wonderful Japanese you can learn from jdrama? With this phrase, Slow Dance almost justified my claims that “watching jdrama is like studying!” Well…sorta.

Last time we talked about the show Buzzer Beat, it was July, and Buzzer Beat was still airing. We talked about how Yamapi had strangely colored outfits and embarrassing team colors for his basketball gig. However, I went on an inadvertent two-month or so hiatus from jdramas, yet another sacrifice to the Reflections | Projections Conference Gods.

So in November, I returned to Buzzer Beat.

And I’m *SO* glad I did. Why? Because I learned something important; I learned that Love makes me strong.

I learned this mostly through the subtle yet moving symbolism between physical strength and romantic love throughout the show. And the billboard in one of the three main sets of the show that says, “Love makes me strong” in giant bold letters.

To explain the show. (Warning: some spoilers to follow. But I really doubt they ruin it.)

We have Yamapi the basketball player and Natsuki (Aibu Saki), his cheerleadin’, schemin’ soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend. And randomly, Riko (Kitagawa Keiko) the violin girl who happens to fall in love with Yamapi because she can’t contain her excitement every time she hears that damn basketball bounce on the court next to her apartment, where she lives with her awkward roommate, Mai. Riko’s supposed to be in love with the coach of the basketball team, though, Kawasaki-san.

The first few episodes portray the relationship between Yamapi and Natsuki as full of jealousy, insecurity, and a lack of passion, while Riko develops feelings for Yamapi that no one except her devoted roommate is aware of.

Devoted roommate and her questionable hairstyles:

And then things heat up.

Natsuki cheats on Yamapi, and the middle episodes consist of Natsuki being a manipulative psychobitch, vying once again for affection from Yamapi, while continuing to shag his greasy teammate Yoyogi (until Yoyogi pseudodumps him for Nanami. Man I love those repetitive names.)

So let’s pause for a minute while I illustrate the middle couple of episodes with a mini-gallery of NATSUKI’S EVIL GLARE (juxtaposed with her charming smile, of course. She can flip between the two in under 3 nanoseconds.)

This is where Yamapi finds Natsuki macking on Yoyogi. THE LOCKER ROOM:

But boy does she look PISSED when he says it’s over. Takes up smoking and alcohol so we know she’s the BAD GRRL of this show (Riko drinks once, but she can’t hold her liquor and adorably has to ride home on Yamapi’s back, where she passes out as he cleans up her apartment. Remember, vulnerability and innocence are becoming when paired with alcohol, and a girl who can’t keep her apartment tidy is just quirky enough to fly as a cute trait, as we learned in Hotaru no Hikari):

Natsuki encounters Riko in the bathroom. But this is not a high school drama; she does not lock Riko in a stall. She pretends to befriend Riko.

Bitchy look #34782017, courtesy of Natsuki

Meanwhile (we are still in the middle three episodes), the coach Kawasaki-san proposes to Riko! What a catch.

So I haven’t watched a jdrama with subtitles in a very long time. But I got my friend Matt hooked on this one, and he watched the subbed version to fill in the Japanese knowledge gaps. Apparently in one episode, the subber lost a little something in translation, and the line said that his aspiration was actually to become the best COUCH he could!

BUT, Riko is not wooed by his couch-ly ways. Instead, she takes to COMPLETELY CREEPING ON YAMAPI and his basketball practicing. In fact, she stoops to the level of cell phone photography WHILE HE IS SLEEPING. If she wasn’t so cute everyone would be running for their lives.

Several episodes later, Riko has FINALLY figured out she likes Yamapi, and yet still seems to be perplexed at the whole situation. Things get even hotter when Yamapi runs up to her room in a post-Romeo-&-Juliet reference from balcony to basketball court. Riko’s just a deer in the headlights, and, honestly so is Yamapi.

Now here’s where the theme of the show really comes in. Riko is off practicing at some violin boot camp. Yamapi and his uncoordinated-yet-cute teammate come to the basketball court. And here is the dialogue that ensues:

Teammate: Ever since I moved here, I’ve looked at that billboard and thought, “love makes people strong”
Yamapi: Dunno about that.

REALLY? How ever did you get that message out of _that_ billboard?! Extremely perceptive. Also, why hasn’t Yamapi caught onto it yet?

Anyway, the drama has exactly the ending we all predicted from the first five minutes of the first episode, but it’s cute and it’s fun. I think one of the great things about Buzzer Beat is that while almost all of the characters are incredibly stupid, they still remain very likable and somehow you’re rooting for the ill-fashion-advised Yamapi and the creeper-violinist Riko.

Another great thing is Aibu Saki being a bitch. She’s always slightly annoyed me in her sugar-and-spice roles in the past, but I wouldn’t have guessed she could have such a brilliant mean streak. She sort of blew it by actually being into Yamapi, but I suppose it was actually more realistic to see why she was actually so vulnerable, jealous, and manipulative.

And the third major good point of Buzzer Beat over many other jdrama, is that the kisses were convincing. Whenever two characters were actually supposed to like each other, they looked like they were genuinely enjoying kissing each other (crazy!) A lot of jdrama has very stiff, awkward-looking kisses that just makes you go “I waited 9 episodes for THAT?!?” but Buzzer Beat got it right! Props.

And a final bitchy look from Natsuki. Enjoy.

So I’ve always wanted to be Princess Leia.

About a month ago, I was sitting in the ACM office innocently working on some stuff for Reflections | Projections when suddenly I heard something that awakened a truly Pavlovian reaction in me: the Star Wars theme music.

I went to investigate the source, and found Carl watching a trailer for Star Wars Uncut, a project to crazily cloudsource a remake of the original Star Wars film: the movie is cut up into 15-second chunks, you choose a scene that isn’t finished yet, film it (however you want: live action, animation, something crazy), and upload it to Vimeo.

Here’s the trailer Carl was watching that left me no choice but to stop what I was doing and jump on board this project:

Star Wars: Uncut Trailer from Casey Pugh on Vimeo.

After perusing the available scenes left on Star Wars Uncut for about half an hour, I suddenly stumbled across the perfect scene, #383. Remember when Han, Luke, and Leia have finally escaped from the Death Star, tension is high, and Han’s being all “I just want my $$, I’m sure not in this for _you_, princess!” and Leia gets all “fine take your money and leave, bitch”?

Right after that, Leia is ready to storm out, just as Luke is coming in, “Your friend is quite a mercenary – I wonder if he really cares about anything. Or anybody.” And Luke goes, “*I* care!” like a huge dork.

And that’s my 15 seconds.

No one better suited the role for Luke than the biggest Star Wars nerd I know — my brother. (No, he is not actually my twin. But we have been mistaken for each other… don’t ask. Oh, also, I know he’s my brother.) Han Solo doesn’t actually do much of anything, and he doesn’t say any lines, during these 15 seconds. This meant that a cardboard cutout would work perfectly! One phone call later, I was ready to purchase a cardboard cutout of Harrison Ford, albeit from the wrong scene of Star Wars. But when stormtrooper Han Solo is your only option, you GO with stormtrooper Han Solo.

On the evening of Monday, November 1st, I rendezvoused with my brother at what would become the Millennium Falcon; a place that should look very familiar to most UIUC Computer Science Students. One hour and six takes later (which amounts to a grand total of 1.5 minutes of footage), we were done with our scene. Thanks to Dave for helping with the daunting task of pushing the record button those 12 times.

A trivial amount of editing (and some gratuitous sound effects) later:

Star Wars Uncut – Scene 383 from Mo Kudeki on Vimeo.

There was only really one hurdle we had to get over while filming: about 40 minutes into the shooting process, three guys walked into the room, and sat down in the stadium seating. We kind of stared back at them like they had invaded our turf (which they had).

“What are YOU doing here?” Princess Leia asked.
“Homework?”
“Ummm… we’re shooting Star Wars. Can you come back later?”
“If I get to keep Han Solo.”
And with that, they were gone long enough for us to finish the shoot.

Of course, now I will never look at those 15 seconds of Star Wars the same way again. When my brother accidentally nudged Han Solo in an all too “come hither” way during filming, we rewatched the scene and noticed something subtle: when Leia leaves, Luke looks back at Han angrily, as if to say, “she’s my potential woman and DO NOT INTERFERE.” But then he looks out the doorway after Leia again, and then before coming into the room he turns back to look at Han, this time locking into what is a distinctly sexy stare. Suddenly, the subtext of this scene has changed. It’s ON. Not competition between Luke and Han over Leia — no, it’s classic sibling rivalry of Luke vs. Leia. Who wouldn’t fight over Harrison Ford?

And that’s how I am going to watch this scene from here on out. No going back.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, I still have Han Solo. (the cutout)